Welcome back everyone to another scribble thoughts post on this WordPress account but the first one of this year. I have had met few mean girls at each phase of my life. But staying away from family makes you vulnerable to such vultures. The lesson I learnt from all such experiences of my life is:
Girls can be extremely mean and attack your wounds to cut you off your knees, to break your strength and make you feel shitty about yourself. So, be mindful with whom you share your personal life with.
I have never shared my personal life in detail with people I don’t trust hence, no outsider can get a chance to point a finger at me. But then there are some people who surround you always, and you can’t cut their proximity. Some girls tried to affect my mental peace. I have a strong personality, and these childish acts cannot affect me, but the cloud of questions like “why me?”, “I have been nice to you”, “I did this and that for you”, etc. used to surround my head whenever they throw comments and then laugh intentionally to make me feel bad.
Though the poor girls didn’t know who am I and what do I do with such incidents of my life. Those who read my queen bee story know what I do in these situations. I get my pen and write script for a post like this. So no matter what these girls said, I want to thank them for behaving immaturely.
They were trying to hurt me, but they helped to break my writer’s block.
So, let’s answer some questions related to such emotionally abusive people.
Q1. Why the abusers spread negativity?
Mostly such people have bad past experiences and are so hurt to the depth of their souls that the only way they have to forget their pain is to hurt others. Whatever these people say is reflection of their insecurities and how sad they feel about themselves.
Always remember
“HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE”
Such people follow a cycle.
Step-1: They are button pushers who somehow got to know where your wounds are, so they will try to push you continously till you respond to them in high tone.
Step-2: Now that you have done what they wanted. They will argue with you. This argument they have practiced a thousand times in their minds so they will have a heavier hand on you.
Step-3: There are two possibilities
a. You will get emotional and start crying.
b. You will walk away after getting exhausted of the baseless argument.
“Don’t think you will win the argument because they will not let you. They are abusers who will break all the humane rules and behave like animals forgetting the emotional boundaries they shouldn’t cross.“
Step-4: Now that they made you cry or made you leave the argument in between, they have a content to share with their fellow narcissists about how they won that argument.
Step-5: They will start pushing you again but targeting at the wound of losing argument with them.
And the cycle repeats.
Q2. How the abusers develop insecurities ?
These behaviours develop due to the presence of unloving, toxic, abnormal, unsupportive, abusive, narcissistic people around them. The people can be their parents, friends, partners, or even acquaintances.
Q3. How to deal with emotionally abusive people?
- Identify their intentions behind their words.
- Know that they want to hurt you because they are broken themselves. Whatever they say to you has nothing to do with you. This is just their way of trying to abuse you to make themselves feel better about their own miserable existence that they are living in.
- No need to respond to them because they want to trap you in their cycle, and you have much better things to do than entertaining them.
- Be entertained by their childish behaviour and share about such things with your friends without mentioning their names because they are unimportant, but the lesson they are teaching you is.
Q4. If you feel that you are the abusive person, then what should you do?
- Stop hurting people just because you are hurt.
- Develop some habits and put efforts into something fruitful.
- Identify the fellow narcissist around you and cut them off your life. Better now than later.
- Understand your pain and try to rectify it by yourselves.
- Take psychiatric help from professionals.
Thanks for reading till the end. Learn to understand than to react! Have a great 2023.
BlackDiaryPreeyaNegi 